


Max's Wild Adventure

by MrAdequateBar



Series: I wrote a Stranger Things crackfic [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: It's really late at night you guys, This is a shitpost don't take it with a grain of salt, WELL HERE YOU GO, and I was listening to the wiz, and i - Freeform, comment pls I'm thirsty, takes place in between season two and three, why do max and billy give me connor and zoe murphy vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 11:24:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12886836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrAdequateBar/pseuds/MrAdequateBar
Summary: The sudden color and cartoonish light blinded her for a few seconds, so she took a moment to adjust to the light.As she stepped out of the abandoned van, she saw that the old junkyard had now become a colorful world of light and magical looking people staring right at her. Or rather, at the thing behind her."Dart," Max started shakily. "I don't think we're in Hawkins anymore."





	Max's Wild Adventure

  
"I told you we respect each other in this house!"  
"Respect? You're throwing respect at me? All you ever do is fucking disrespect us and make us feel like shit!"  
"You wanna say that again? I said, do you wanna say that again?!"

There they go. Max sat in her room rhythmically slamming her head into the side of the wall as her stepfather and her stepbrother fought for what seemed like the millionth time this week. Lightning streaked across the sky and it seemed like it was going to hit exceptionally hard in their shoddy little town, which she expected, as as soon as Eleven returned to Hawkins for good, weather patterns started to do whatever they felt like on a whim it seemed.

However, the sounds of thunder booming almost drowned out the booming coming from the other room that was the voices of Neil and Billy Hargrove.

"We left California because you kids had a reputation, Billy, but it looks like it followed you here, because I ended up with you being a deadbeat, and not to mention your whore sister."

Slamming. Glass shattering. Screaming. Her own sobs wishing that her mother was home or that there was a phone in her room to call authorities with. Her radio busted when she and El tried to figure out how many things they could stack on top of it without it breaking (spoiler; a couple of cinder blocks will do the trick) so she couldn't call anyone, and thus, she was stuck in her room listening to her "family" argue.

Or maybe not. After she escaped through the window with Lucas to fight with him and Steve and Dustin, her stepdad had put a lock on her window. It was then broken by Billy, who needed to use it to break out and go to a high school party, so the window only looked locked now.

Max slid out with ease, hitting the grass with a thud that her family definitely didn't hear with all the yelling going on.

Max ran.

She ran out of the neighborhood and ran through the old forest and passed the tracks until the tears steaming down her face caught up to her and she collapsed in the middle of the abandoned junkyard.

Max doesn't cry. She considers herself to be a strong ass young woman who knows that crying shows vulnerability and she's not vulnerable. No one can touch her.

She sat, crying about her family, crying about having to leave California and move into this shoddy old town, crying because she knows her friends are better here and she never would've met any of them if it weren't for the move, but it still hit her like a truck, all at once, and the sky slowly started to cry with her.

Sckrweak.

Max looked up, wiping the last of the tears from her eyes, to see where the inhuman sound came from.

Could it be?

No, he died.

Sckrweak.

Dustin killed him. I watched him.

Sckrweak.

I'm already here. If it kills me, that's that. Might as well fucking find out what it is.

She turns her head to the source of the noise; the abandoned van. Just months earlier, she had hidden in this van with Dustin and watched Steve risk his life, and she had fallen in love with Lucas for the first time.

Slowly.

Slowly.

Fuck it.

Max opened the door to the van and looked straight into the flower mouth of a creature she long thought to be dead. But here he was, in the flesh. And instead of trying to kill her, he sniffed, purred, and nuzzled her chest.

"Dart?"

The demodog excitedly nodded at his name and tried to lick Max's face. She giggled and pushed him down.

Sure, she knew that El had just closed the gate, and that they hadn't defeated the shadow monster for good, but if the gate was closed, how come Dart was still alive?

Boom.

Thunder crashed as hail started to pan down on the old van, and Max closed the door as quick as she could and curled up in the corner, Dart joining her, closing her eyes as the wind blew here and there and Max slowly began to lose herself.

Creak.

Light poured into the windows of the van as Max cracked her neck and stole a glance at the stirring demodog- still incredibly weird, by the way- began to awake next to her.

The sudden color and cartoonish light blinded her for a few seconds, so she took a moment to adjust to the light.

As she stepped out of the abandoned van, she saw that the old junkyard had now become a colorful world of light and magical looking people staring right at her. Or rather, at the thing behind her.

"Dart," Max started shakily. "I don't think we're in Hawkins anymore."

One of the figures stepped forward and pointed at the van, mouth hanging agape, as he prepared to say something Max was hoping would explain what just happened.

"Holy SHIT, she just KILLED WILL BYERS, YOU GUYS."

And suddenly a large chorus rang out in cheers as Max turned around to see a pair of legs wearing some fabulous silver sneakers, underneath the abandoned van, which she now assumed to be Will's.

Wait, holy FUCK, she KILLED WILL????

One of the people ran to her to shake her hand and thank her as a chorus of "thank yous" and "hooray" and "praise the metal contraption, our new god" sang our, swallowing Max and Dart, until and new voice rang out, a clear husky baritone ripely sailing out over the shrill and obnoxious voices of the other people.

"Come now peasants, don't be silly, I'm always going to be your god."

The sea of commoners parted as the owner of the baritone appeared to Max.

Now what was it that made this creature different from the rest, you may ask? Was it the fact that he was at least twice the height of everyone in the town square? Maybe. Was it that he was carrying a large wand that basically screamed "I'm magic bitch, fear me"? No. It was his luxurious, voluminous, epic, gorgeous locks of hair.

Their "god" was Steve Harrington.

"Steve!" Max cheered. "What's going on? Where are we?"

Steve chuckled. "Why my dear, I don't know why I'm surprised you know my name. I mean, everyone knows me. Anyways, you're in a land we call the Upside Down."

"FUCK." Max said. "If this is the upside down then I'm leaving."

"But you killed Will Byers. We need to celebrate!" Steve cheered.

Max almost started crying again. "How is that celebration worthy???"

"Well, lets just put it like this. Will is a witch and he likes to taunt us and it's just really really annoying. His brother Jonathan's worse, but Will is pretty bad. Well, he was. But you crushed him with a van, so I'd say he's pretty dead now." Steve said, smirking.

Max shook her head. "I just want to go home. How the hell do I do that?"

"Well you fell from the sky. Can't you go back that way?" Steve asks.

Max shakes her head, and then looks down to see that the silver sneakers that were once on the body of Will are now on her feet.

"Why??" She asked.

"Well if you're gonna get home, then you need some swag to get places. Go see the Wizard up in Emerald City, she'll get ya home. She's pretty good at that kinda stuff.

"Okay. Fine. Whatever. How do I get there?" Max asks.

"Follow the Eggo-Pattern road. Right there. Have fun!" Steve cheers as he pushes Max down the way of the waffley road. "Oh, she's so gonna die." Steve murmured.

Max and Dart walked down the Eggo-Pattern road together, Max repeating to her self over and over again "this is not my life, this is not my life, this is not my life-"

"You can say that again."

"What the FUCK."

There was a talking scarecrow now. Great. What else could happen today?

"Hey good buddy. How's it hanging? Get it! Cause I'm a scarecrow! I hang... I'm unappreciated in my time."

"Dustin?"

"That's a fun name! Oh wait- it's mine! Yeah, I'm Dustin the scarecrow. Well, I wasn't always a scarecrow, I used to be a scarekid, but then that clown murdered all the kids so now I just scare crows. Hey, could you help me down? I really like your animal and I'll follow you wherever you wanna go."

Max shrugs. What's the worst that could go wrong?

Max, Dart, and Dustin walked along the Eggo Pattern road together, looking at all the sights along the way, which was just corn and trees, but, y'know.

Sckrweak.

"Dear god, if this is another demodog I'm leaving you the fuck behind-" Max started before running into a statue that was fastened to the ground.

Except it wasn't a statue it was- it was Lucas!

"Quick, Dustin, grab that oil can!"

Dustin ran over to the oil can conveniently placed on a tree trunk and turned it upside down. "Empty!"

"Then get the crisco behind that bush!" She cheered, and sure enough, Dustin produced a can of Crisco from the bush.

"How did you know that was there?"

"Lucky guess?"

After Lucas was all un-stuck, he became extremely slippery, but he still managed to tell Max, Dustin, and Dart, that he got stuck after crying because his girlfriend broke up with him for a clown.

And so, the three rode down the road together, Dart licking as much of the baking substance off of Lucas as he could.

Soon, the four entered a dark part of forest that looked extremely creepy and not fun, and Dustin suggested they turn around, but Max refused because she wanted to see what was further in the forest.

"AHHH"

"AHHH!" Max yelled and punched the top offender in the face.

"Holy FUCK, why did you punch me? Awwje..." he whined and cried.

"Goddamnit Mike. Get up."

Mike was in a furry onesie and he obeyed Max, standing and still wiping tears from his eyes.

"I'm trying to be scary but I'm really not doing a good job of it."

"Yeah I can tell. It's surprising because your face shape and eyes should be scary enough to make anyone go running." Max retorted.  
  
Mike gasped. "True. But unneeded."

"Do you wanna come with us? We're gonna get the Wizard to get me home." Max asked.

Mike looked around. "I mean I don't know, I've got lot of work to do with what scaring passerbys and all so I- what the fuck lets go."

Max smirked and grabbed Mike by the hand, pulling him into the group, and so the five marched down the Eggo-Pattern road together in one straight line, for some odd reason.

Suddenly, the Emerald City appeared in front of them and they were like "WOW." And when they went to the castle, the police officer standing there was like "WOAH." At Max's shoes and let them into the castle. Looks like Steve was right about that.

The corridor to the Wizard was really weird looking and there was a bunch of pictures of waffles along the walls and also a bunch of pictures of pants so Max didn't really know what the fuck was going on.

Suddenly this really weird projection that looked like what a 30 year old Max would later describe as a cross between the host from Total Drama Island and Megamind appeared and screamed at them.

"I'm not giving you shit. Bye."

"Wait!" Mike yelled. "There has to be something we can do to get help from you."

"Uh yeah, kill Jonathan Byers, lol. What do you really think you can do to earn my attention?"

Dustin spoke up. "Kill Jonathan."

Dustin swiftly turned, leaving the other four slightly confused but they eventually turned around and followed him.

Jonathan's castle was like a dirtier version of the Wizard's but with less waffles and more blurry pictures that looked like they never developed correctly.

"Okay so what do we do?" Lucas asked.

"Uh so this is usually the part where a bucket of water conveniently appears and I use it to melt the witch, and so uhhh- there it is!" Max cheered and picked up the water bucket that was right in front of them- just as Jonathan descended from the stairs.

"What do you fuckers want?" He asks.

"We need to melt you so I can traverse dimensions and go home." Max said.

Jonathan walked straight up to Max and sighed. "That makes no sense."

Dustin yelled. "Yeah well neither does this!"

SPLOOSH!

"What the hell? Now I'm covered in water, this material is gonna shrink! Shit." Jonathan complained. "One second, let me change, Jesus..."

And just as Jonathan the witch turned to change clothes, Mike pulled a pistol from his fur and shot Jonathan.

"Fuck you."

\---

"Wow, I'm actually impressed you did it." The Wizard cheered. "I guess that means I can tell you guys something.

A curtain opened at the back of the room and a little girl of about thirteen stepped out and smiled at them.

"El?!" Max screamed. "You're the wizard?"

"Oh yeah definitely."

"The Wizard is just a little girl?! You're a fraud!" Lucas yelled before getting sent into a wall by Eleven.

"Say that again?"

Max clapped and chuckled. "Anyways, El, I need to get home, so can you get me there?" Max asked, Dart nuzzling into her side. He molted again after eating Jonathan's corpse and so now he was at Max's thigh on all fours.

"Yeah, just let me call Steve."

"Wait, what?"

"Oh, Steve Harrington. He's in charge of Munchkinland, he can use his bubble to send you home." Eleven replies.

Max scoffs. "He was the first person I met in this godforsaken place. He sent me to find you!"

Eleven facepalmed. "That lazy bastard. Anyways, don't worry Max, i will get you home. Max! Max! Max! Max! Max! Max!

\---

Max!"

"El, please stop, she's waking up."

"Oh. Sorry."

Max cringed as her eyes opened again and she adjusted to the light and the faces of Mike, El, Lucas, Dustin, and Will all standing around her.

"What's going on?"

"We found you here after you weren't home or at school after the dark. We were worried like hell." Will answered.

"Where's Dart?" Max asked, looking for her trusty demon lizard sidekick.

Dustin, Mike, and Lucas shared a look before Mike chimed in. "We killed Dart months ago, Max. You were there for that."

Max nodded.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Eleven asked.

Max nodded again. "I just had a really weird dream. And Mike was there, and El was there, and Lucas was there, and Dustin was there, and Will... you were there but I killed you. Sorry."

Will shrugged.

"Come on, lets go." Lucas said, reaching out for a hand to help Max up.

"You need to stop being outside during nuclear storms." Eleven said, chuckling.

**Author's Note:**

> I hate myself
> 
> Also you can see my will to live detioriatiinng (I'm to tired to spell detioritafing correctly) as the story progresses im so tired it's 2 am


End file.
